Journaling and emotional intelligence competencies
Focusing on emotional intelligence competencies might actually be the key to unlocking effective journaling.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably tried journaling many times with mixed results. My life is haunted by a series of unfinished notebooks — it wasn’t until 2023 that I successfully filled an entire journal and the entries were often spaced months apart.
The purpose of journaling has always felt elusive to me. Am I writing down day-to-day thoughts and events so that I can look back on my life someday? Am I keeping a journal to vent? Or is it to remind myself how much I have to be grateful for? Is it a tool for manifestation? Or a place where I can wallow in my own self-pity?
A journal can be all of these things — a non judgemental space that can hold whatever you need it to — but I often come away from journaling feeling even more in my head. This is because not all types of journaling lead to the healing and growth we’re looking for.

How can journaling improve our emotional intelligence?
Focusing on emotional intelligence competencies might actually be the key to unlocking effective journaling. According to Dr. Steven Stosny, the most helpful journaling isn’t achieved by obsessing about ourselves and our thoughts in isolation, but instead comes when we try to reflect objectively on our emotions, behaviour, and interactions with other people.
Each of the five composite categories of emotional intelligence competencies can be explored deeply and strengthened through a regular journaling practice.
Self-perception
It can be hard to see ourselves clearly, but a journal can be a place to take a step back and reflect on our emotions, thoughts, and actions. A lot of this is self actualization work: figuring out our deepest values and making sure we are aligned with them. When journaling about a problem you’re facing or a negative experience you’ve had, Dr. Stosny suggests asking whether you are acting according to your values and in ways that are reflective of the person you want to be. How can you learn and grow from this experience? How can what you learned make the world a better place and you a better person?
Self-expression
It can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable to write honestly about our emotions, but studies of expressive writing — a kind of journaling which focuses on writing about traumatic or emotional experiences — have shown that it has a positive impact on participants’ mental and physical health. Expressive writing usually involves writing about these events for 15–20 minutes, on three to five occasions. While participants reported increased short-term distress just after writing about these experiences, they ended up having significantly better long-term physical and psychological outcomes than those who only journaled about neutral topics.
Interpersonal
A journal can feel like a safe place to rant about a coworker, family member, or partner. This venting might feel helpful in the moment, but what if you approach the page from a place of empathy? How could reflecting on our relationships and interactions with others result in stronger, more compassionate interpersonal relationships?
When you journal about a negative experience or a problem that involves another person, try asking yourself to empathize with their perspective. How would they describe the problem or event? What core wounds might be coming up for them?
Decision Making
Journals are not just a place for us to explore our deepest wounds and emotions, they are also a helpful tool for problem solving. Rather than ruminating on problems and the negative things that have happened to you, try using your journal to explore possible solutions, make decisions, and create a plan of action that aligns with your values and the kind of person you want to be.
We can also use journaling as a tool to improve our reality testing ability. When someone challenges our most deeply held beliefs — the beliefs we feel are built into our identities — the emotional response that can be triggered can be overwhelming. While it’s our instinct to react defensively, we can try using a journal as a place to reflect on the new evidence we’ve received in a more intentional, mindful way.
Stress Management
Journaling has been shown to improve well-being in people with elevated anxiety symptoms. Writing can be a way to cope with stress, reduce rumination and fear of uncertainty, and allow us to be more flexible and optimistic. When journaling about events, problems, or relationships that are causing you stress, Dr. Stosny suggests asking yourself:
- Can you tolerate a certain amount of ambiguity or lack of certainty about this?
- Is it okay to have mixed feelings about this?
- Can you raise your confidence to deal with the worst-case scenario if it happens?
Researchers have found that gratitude journaling can also be an effective tool in managing stress. In a randomized controlled trial, published in 2018, participants were sorted into three groups: those receiving psychotherapy only, those receiving psychotherapy and practicing expressive writing, and those receiving psychotherapy and practicing gratitude writing. Those in the last group wrote letters expressing gratitude to others. When the participants were followed up with, the ones who took part in gratitude writing reported significantly better mental health than those in the other two groups.
There are many ways to practice gratitude journaling: you could write about experiences that make you feel thankful, create gratitude lists, or write letters to the people you’re grateful for like the participants in the study.
Creating a journaling practice
It’s clear that journaling can be an effective tool for improving our emotional intelligence and wellbeing, but research suggests that journaling is most effective when it is a regular practice.

Try setting a timer for 10, 15, or 20 minutes, three to five times a week. Set an intention for your journaling session: Will you dive deeply into an emotion or event? Make a list of the things you’re grateful for? Try to solve a problem you’ve been experiencing? Then, let yourself write without judgements about your spelling, grammar, or handwriting — remember no one else will be reading your journal.
As you finish journaling, pay attention to your transition back into the flow of your day. You may feel emotionally heavy or distressed, especially if you’ve been doing expressive writing, so be gentle with yourself.
With the emotional intelligence competencies in mind, and the vulnerability to confront the page on a regular basis, we can use journaling as a pathway to healing and growth.
Interested in learning more about developing a journaling practice and deepening your understanding of emotional intelligence skills? Think about joining our course, Journaling for Emotional Intelligence.